urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55 Jessica Jessica 2005-11-20T04:00:26Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:112537 2005-11-20T04:00:26Z 2005-11-20T04:00:26Z Well it has been a while, Gabe and I are doing pretty good, i start school in the spring and i am trying to get ready for that<br />Let's see........<br />Christmas is going to be a little harder this year<br /><br />I am decided that, and i have always said this, that i doubt it is going to be a while before i date again, and when i do it's not really going to be around my son, i don't want my son to get mixed ideas, and if i don't think it going to work out i will end it right there, explanation- I am watching my friend Heidi's marriage fall apart, she married someone who drank quite a lot and now shit has happened and it's over, the really bad part is that her daughter calls him dad and she is going to go through somethings and not understand. I seriously don't want Gabe to go through that<br /><br />Haha oh yeah Gabe is 6 months and has found his penis, funniest moment in the world.<br /><br />I dyed my hair a reddish tint, I don't like it so I'm gonna high light it. <br /><br />Nothing really goes on here so i never update, my days and nights are filled with my son, i did go out once about 2 weeks ago with Heidi and we saw Jarred that Subway guy at The Ugly Monkey. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:112301 2005-10-04T02:18:07Z 2005-10-04T02:18:07Z It hate it how you are close to someone at on time, and then it's like you have no idea who they even are anymore, I have had so many friends and we were so close and we lost contact, this is people that I shared a huge part of my life with, people that I knew inside and out at one point and now I don't ever know them, I hate it. But I guess that is life. It goes by too quickly.<br /><br />I know I have said this before but I am serious this time I wanna have a get together sometime in the beginning of November probably on the 5th or 6th. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:112126 2005-09-30T14:24:34Z 2005-09-30T14:24:34Z Everything changes so fast, Gabe has changed so much and he looks nothing like he did when he was born, he's 18 lbs now, haha yeah and almost 5 months, time flys. My days consist of nothing but him, i love it, I have turned into a house mom, it's kind of funny, him and I take naps together and the thing that will always touch my heart is when he smiles at me.<br />I have made a few friends up here, my friend Heidi lives next door to me and I don't know what I would do without her and her husband sometimes, they help me out a lot. I still miss being able to see my friends in indy though.<br />I am going back to school in the spring, my goal is to get a house in the next 2 years. It's going to be hard but I am going to do it.<br />October is a shitty month for me, everything that happened to my dad happen then, and the shitty thing is he got buried on Halloween, this will be the first day that I have actually celebrated on Halloween. I still get so made at him sometimes that he left us, he always wanted a boy and now he has one and he isn't here, well that is enough of that.<br />Gabe is awake and ready to eat cereal, so yeah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:111702 2005-08-18T12:31:24Z 2005-08-18T12:31:24Z Melissa, my cousin, is getting married to Chris this weekend, I am happy that he is going to be apart of our family, he's a good guy and they both are head over heals for each other. I starting to get stressed about it cause I am a bridesmaid and I have spent sooo much money on everything and it's hard to find a sitter, but as long as her wedding turns out good.<br /><br />Gabe has discovered that he has a voice, so cute. He is turning out to be a little chunky butt, I love it. He is just growing so fast, he has doubled his birth weight. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:111468 2005-07-23T17:54:03Z 2005-07-23T17:54:03Z I spent the night in the hospital with Gabe because my worst fear came true, he stopped breathing during the night on thursday, he is ok right now though, and they sent me home with a really good monitor. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:111250 2005-07-16T21:22:58Z 2005-07-16T21:22:58Z Last night was fun I met up with Danielle, who had been drinking for 9 hours prior to me picking her up, we went to a bar by downtown and the went to broadripple. Sucks she wasn't feeling very well, but I think we got a lot of shit out in the open and behind us. We did the whole drunken I love you thing and hugged a million times, but I really did need that from her and it made me feel so much better. <br />I saw a lot of the 7dfc guys and Beth, and Timmy, and I of course have to show everyone pictures of Gabe, and I think I talked about him most of the night, which I hope I didn't bore the hell out of anyone with it, but it's one of the things where I can't help.<br />Tanya showed up and her and i tried to go dancing and didn't really work out cause they were playing techno, but i had to leave anyways cause Tiff was getting tired and wanted me to come home, so i took Tanya to an apartment and her and i talked a lot on the way, it's going to suck when she moves to NY but she never really wanted to spend the rest of her life in indy.<br /><br />Nevertheless, I had an awesome time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:111077 2005-07-14T01:45:31Z 2005-07-14T01:45:31Z Gangst Boo Nothing has been going on I am just bored and wanted to type........<br /><br />Gabe has been sleeping really well at night it's been 4-6 hours which is awesome...<br />My sister gave me and anti SIDS monitor cause that is scary and I didn't let him sleep in his room until I got it since when he slept in my room it was in a bassinet and it was an inch from my bed so I got to reach over during the night and check on him. So know I am comforted it makes a loud alarm if he stops breathing which I hope never ever happens. <br /><br />Friday night is going to be my first night going out, I doubt that it will be too late so I don't get sleep deprived. It's gong to drive me nuts and i am probally going to call every thruty minutes but my mom says it's good for me to get out every once and a while and that he will be ok............ <br />well i am sure i am boring you guys with ramblings urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:110767 2005-07-09T01:46:16Z 2005-07-09T01:46:16Z OK SO I posted a pic of gabe on my myspace pictures <div align="center"><a href="http://www.myspace.com/1362606">http://www.myspace.com/1362606</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;</div> <div align="center">&nbsp;</div> <div align="center">&nbsp;</div> <div align="center">I know it's kind of cheesy but i think it's cute</div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:110340 2005-07-05T22:15:42Z 2005-07-05T22:15:42Z Well, my 4th was pretty good, my grandma watched gabe for a few hours and we went out on the boat, i got a little burnt though, and my mom's dog jumped in the lake and i jumped in to get her and when i got back on the boat i noticed my $50 plugs were gone, so i had to go to broadripple and get some more, that sucked. <br /><br />Gabe is starting to feel better and is sleeping awesome now, i think i am going to see my family in indy this week and hopefully i can use their scanner to scan some pics of him. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:110230 2005-06-27T18:35:15Z 2005-06-27T18:35:15Z Gabe is sick..................... I want him to get better, it just sound like a cold but he is too young so i made him a doctors appointment because i am paranoid about it. His sleeping is messed up and he's eating is messed up. I dunno..........<br /><br /><br />Other than that everything has been pretty good, he smiled for his first time when he was awake 2 days ago, it was awesome and made my heart melt, he was laying there and i was talking to him and he did a huge smile. oh i love it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:109884 2005-06-22T18:17:30Z 2005-06-22T18:17:30Z So I have officially been in my apartment for 2 nights now, I am still trying to get used to it, I keep having nightmares about bugs. I think Gabe is trying to get used to it, it takes him a little while to fall asleep. I have free HBO for a month though, so that will give me something to do.<br /><br />Melissa and Danielle came and saw me here a few nights ago, I got beer and baby cloths, it was awesome, I was really happy they came it's really nice seeing them, they brightened up my week a little more. And it's always nice having company.<br /><br />I am waiting on Gabe to wake up so him and I can get out of the house for a few, he loves being outside like I do. He has changed a lot, he doesn't really look anything like his newborn picture, but he is still adorable. <br /><br />Well, I am off.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:109461 2005-06-07T17:10:54Z 2005-06-07T17:10:54Z I am getting his one month pictures done today :) He's going through a growth spurt? he grew 1/2 of an inch in a week. I looked at his newborn pics today and he has changed so much since then.<br /><br />Well I am off urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:109087 2005-06-06T16:49:54Z 2005-06-06T16:49:54Z I don't even feel like myself anymore, I feel like a zombie, I know that I have to take care of my son, but I feel as if I have no life. Sometime in a few weeks I plan on going out, but it's hard to leave him with someone. I know my sister would do a good job but I'm still paranoid. I love him more than anything but it's so frustrating.<br /><br />I get the keys to my apartment on Thursday. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:108941 2005-06-02T13:36:24Z 2005-06-02T13:36:24Z I am sooo freaking tired...........<br /><br /><br />I sent out some birth annoucments, the people who gave me their addresses should get them soon.<br /><br />Gabriel and i are doing fine, he gained a pound and grew an inch :)<br /><br /><br />Shelly posted pics of gabe if anyone wants to see (thanks shelly) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:108551 2005-05-17T23:12:24Z 2005-05-17T23:12:24Z My little man was born on may 11th, 7lbs and 19 inches, he is a cutie, i will post more when i get a chance everything has been so hectic urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:108328 2005-05-02T14:25:36Z 2005-05-02T14:25:36Z OK so i am in my last few weeks before my son comes so i need everyone's address so i can send out birth announcements when he comes, so if anyone is interested then e-mail me at Kupcake55@aol.com<br /><br />I also am going to have a get to together with friends probably on June 19th so that people can see him so if anyone is interested then tell me and I will keep you updated when it gets a little closer. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:108099 2005-04-12T19:48:53Z 2005-04-12T19:50:40Z I have a head ache and i am irritated, i thought everything was all good but i really don't think that it is right now. I am tired of everything being back and forth right now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:107834 2005-04-07T16:44:00Z 2005-04-07T16:44:00Z Well I am in the library, it's rare when i get to get on the internet since my computer is in storage. Nothing really has been going on, i went to the childrens museum with my mom and sister and walked around for 3 hours and felt like i was going to die when i got home. I miss my energy. A few things have went on the last few days that has made me happy, i needed a little pick me up since i have been fighting with my step dad a lot the last few weeks. I am still not going to be able to get into those apartments for a while and i miss having my own place plus it's cutting it close with the baby and kind of stresses me out because all of his things are piled in a closet and i have no place to put them. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:107757 2005-03-23T19:15:07Z 2005-03-23T19:15:07Z yeah i am not dead, i just can't get on as much, nothing is really going on at the moment, i have no belly button and my son is due in 8-10 weeks. I am kind of upset with a few people at the moment, but i will get over it. well yeah.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:107266 2005-01-14T15:36:47Z 2005-01-14T15:36:47Z Well shit sucks right now, I moved back to Noblesville and everything is awkward. My mom and step dad are spliting up. He got his things yesterday and I gave him a hug good bye, I wanted to say so much, i wanted to make sure he is going to be ok. Change sucks, and I am not mad just upset. I am trying to be strong for my mom, i know that they don't get along and she would be happier without him.<br /><br />It's been a really weird last few days urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:107202 2005-01-08T15:29:25Z 2005-01-08T15:29:25Z Well, I finally told a lot of my family that I was having a boy, and my aunt Brenda said when I told her she cried cause it reminded her of my dad.<br />Here is a quick background... My dad really wanted a boy and he ended up with all girls, not that is didn't love us and treat us like we were boys haha. We were all kind of tom boys.<br />Everyone in my family wants me to name him after my dad, but there are way to many Johns in this world.<br />It kind of sucks because my father is not here, I think he would have been pissed at me at first and then got really happy because he love kids, if he could have had 10 kids with my mom he would have been happy with that, he was just that type of man. It sucks kind of sucks that he won't be around his grandson, but somewhere in me I know that he is watching over my child and is happy for me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:106766 2005-01-06T16:06:12Z 2005-01-06T16:06:12Z Well I found out.......... it's a little boy :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:106505 2005-01-02T17:24:37Z 2005-01-02T17:24:37Z Far Well, the last few weeks have been hectic, I sold my house and have to be out on the 10th. So many memories in this house, some good and some bad, but I know I am going to miss living here because it's home and moving back with my parents is going to take time to get used to. It's just weird because when I lived with my parents I wanted to get out, because I felt like I was missing out on so much, but I really wasn't. <br /><br />My girl Carolyn got a hold of me and I told her what was going on. She took it weirdly.<br /><br />I went out last night with k-lynn and Melissa to 7dfc's house, we were awesome we played cards in the middle of the floor and blocked everyone. Some guy played with us, and he was really intense with the game, it was kind of funny. <br /><br />A lot of people know about me being pregnant, it's weird cause they don't read my LJ, it's just kind of funny how fast word gets around. It took a while before I told people because I was afraid of people talking shit, but I can't control that and the only thing that really matters is that I know everything is ok.<br /><br />My room mate is supposed to be over here soon to get the rest of her things, so I guess she is my ex room mate, so she will just be Brittany. It's been so weird with her and noony not really being here the last few days. Even though I bitch about her not cleaning and what not, she is still awesome. We didn't really fight a lot because anything we had to say to each other would be to each other, there wouldn't be talking behind backs until someone found out. she taught me so much, and stuck it in my head that I am a grown woman and to take responsibility for my actions but I do not have to explain myself to anyone.<br /><br />Well, time for me to do some errands, BTW I find out the sex on Wednesday. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:106429 2004-12-15T18:07:10Z 2004-12-29T23:03:32Z Far Well, this journal entry took a lot of thought, but I felt the urge to put this on here to anyone who should listen. Life never goes as planned but, As some you know I am going to be a mom. I am still getting used to the fact. 4 1/2 months of thinking and I have come up with so many things. I love the fact that I am going to be a mom, it's going to be a little me, I am going come home to someone who loves me everyday, and someone who looks up to me, and I will always have someone to play with.<br />I really didn't think that I was ready at first, but I am a grown woman and I will have help until I get on my feet and though college. I am selling my house, hopefully soon, and moving in with my mom so she can help me out the first few months since I really have no idea on what to do. I will still be able to live my life, it's not like my life is going to be on hold, I will just live it with something that is apart of me.<br />I will never think of this as a mistake, it's a wonderful thing, it's a life and I just felt this life move for the first time a few days ago. It made me smile because I actually felt like it was in me. I find out it's sex January 5th, my family really wants me to have a boy except for Kendra she wants me to have a girl.<br />Well, this is about it for now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:kupcake55:106056 2004-11-29T05:57:55Z 2004-11-29T05:57:55Z Far Well, I finally got my Christmas tree up. Kind of puts me into the Christmas mood. I think this weekend I am going to get some Christmas shopping done.<br /><br />My work schedule this week sucks ass. Oh well, I am still not sure if they are going to keep me or not, all the managers love me and Ashley and Julin says that they need to keep me, but nevertheless I need to go job hunting just in case they don't keep me, or to find one where I get paid more. <br /><br />I got rid of Gizmo a few days ago, I cried my eyes out, but I needed to, I am hardly ever home and when I do move I won't be able to keep him. So I guess it is all for the best, but I kind of feel like I abandoned him. I miss the hell out of him, ever though he was a butt head. I dunno... kind of lonely here though.<br /><br />This week my goal is the play catch up and get hold of people, everytime I tell myself I need to call a person it is too late. <br /><br />Some random person IMed me and we are talking about Bjork and other music, it is kind of nice. <br /><br />Well, I am tired and I feel like ass.